I am sitting with a blank page In front of me Ingrid colors forth boldly, each marker’s snap fortells a confident set of strokes. A celebration is coming!
To my left Zion is delicately, deliberately inking. A portrait emerges, fine black blades converge over the faint orange sketch.
My page (now less blank) is covered with the scratches of my holding on just a little while longer, keeping watch.
Four nights ago I heard the sweet call of fantastic vision. Hope of a life well-lived and uniquely played.
And rest.
But sunrise brought a flaming terror, and burned out the peace I had tended to over so many previous dawns. The pain of loss (not now, but soon) drove me to pull what remained.
But I have begun to dig in this new, hard ground. Cultivating the seeds of an invasive peace that thrives in the cracks between stones and spreads beyond intention.
The lump—that deep twist in my gut. I am holding too tight, even as I let go. Scooping out my melon of a belly, emptying it of everything, including hunger.
She doesn’t care for watermelon but I continue to present it, bowl after bowl. An offering, a show of just how far I am willing to go.
As unappealing as my misplaced entrails and the hunger that is and isn’t.
I have long respected and admired Brian’s thinking process and philosophy of life (even when we’ve disagreed) so I did the most obvious and easy thing to do: I bought the book, read the short essay on “Anger,” remarked to myself how poignant it was, and put it on the coffee table book pile never to open it again. But the name David Whyte gained a place of esteem in my head, and I’m glad that it did, because when I saw that Sam Harris had a conversation with David Whyte in the Waking Up app (which I use for daily guided meditations and recommend), I took notice. Last week I finally listened to it and it absolutely blew me away. Within the hour long conversation, David read two of his poems (“The Bell and the Blackbird” and “Everything Is Waiting for You”) and an essay on the word Vulnerability from “Consolations.”
Have you ever had the experience of hearing someone plainly, succinctly describe a concept that has been tumbling around in your head, amorphous but forming, slowly slowly solidifying? For me, as I listened to David and Sam talk, it was like bombs kept going off in my brain. David’s words turned a plethora of personal inklings into fully formed, fully realized (and actionable) concepts. These types of moments are unique, but not entirely rare for me, and I realized at once that something significant was happening.
Like a fighter pilot who has been hunting down it’s target, circling and chasing, David’s words through the hour were the missile lock, the final poem he read flipped the safety cover off of the firing pin. Locked and loaded, ready to fire. Insight, ready for action.
Here is the poem, which I share as a window into my experience, an incredible moment that was years in the making. Read it, but also take a moment to hear David read it in the video just under the poem.
Everything Is Waiting for You
Your great mistake is to act the drama as if you were alone. As if life were a progressive and cunning crime with no witness to the tiny hidden transgressions. To feel abandoned is to deny the intimacy of your surroundings. Surely, even you, at times, have felt the grand array; the swelling presence, and the chorus, crowding out your solo voice. You must note the way the soap dish enables you, or the window latch grants you freedom. Alertness is the hidden discipline of familiarity. The stairs are your mentor of things to come, the doors have always been there to frighten you and invite you, and the tiny speaker in the phone is your dream-ladder to divinity.
Put down the weight of your aloneness and ease into the conversation. The kettle is singing even as it pours you a drink, the cooking pots have left their arrogant aloofness and seen the good in you at last. All the birds and creatures of the world are unutterably themselves. Everything is waiting for you.